Edith Nesbit

The Wouldbegoods Edith Nesbit

Children are like jam: all very well in the proper place, but you can't stand them allover the shop-eh, what?'These were the dreadful words of our Indian uncle. They made us feel very youngand angry; and yet we could not be comforted by calling him names to ourselves, asyou do when nasty grown-ups say nasty things, because he is not nasty, but quite theexact opposite when not irritated. And we could not think it ungentlemanly of him to saywe were like jam, because, as Alice says, jam is very nice indeed-only not on furnitureand improper places like that. My father said, 'Perhaps they had better go to boardingschool.' And that was awful, because we know Father disapproves of boarding-schools. And he looked at us and said, 'I am ashamed of them, sir!'Your lot is indeed a dark and terrible one when your father is ashamed of you. Andwe all knew this, so that we felt in our chests just as if we had swallowed a hard-boiledegg whole. At least, this is what Oswald felt, and Father said once that Oswald, as theeldest, was the representative of the family, so, of course, the others felt the same.